10-30-2007
Yesterday was my 23rd birthday. I didn’t do much, went to Barnes & Noble in Las Cruces. I bought 2 books; Sight Unseen by Budd Hopkins and Carol Rainey and Alien Agenda by Jim Marrs. Afterwards we went to Red Lobster. I had catfish and to drink, a Bahama Mama. I was kind of depressed during dinner, and cried a little to myself, I don’t know why I was sad. I felt a little better when we left Cruces. I spent almost the whole trip watching the night sky. I was awake the whole trip this time. Although now that I think about it…spending an hr and a half looking at the stars in a moving car kinda hurts. I wonder how I was able to for a long time. I don’t think anything happened. Who knows?
Today at about 10:30 am or so, I was brushing my hair. Halfway through I felt a ‘shift’. That’s the best way to describe it. Felt like things clicked, things shifted, including myself. Parallel universes accidentally touching? I can’t be sure. Like yesterday’s weirdness. Early afternoon, I’d say about 2 PM, I was hanging out with a friend. We were taking turns playing Dirge Of Cerberus; Final Fantasy VII. We were making jokes and playing around, we both heard a loud BOOM, and the trailer shook. It didn’t shake too badly, but enough that we both felt it. I asked dad if the track had any missions and he said no. IIRC, the Boom didn’t come from the base, but my first thought was “Oh someone had a test out at the test track”. The sound didn’t come from the direction of the base. It came from the south, southeast. Still dunno what it was. Dad suggested it might have been an F-22. It didn’t sound like it. I remember the loud ass noise it made at the air show this weekend.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Diary of 10-27-2007
10-27-2007
Ok I guess technically it’s the 28th, I just got off work, it is 12:30 AM. Last night (10-26-2007/10-27-2007) I felt as though something was in my room while I was trying to fall asleep. Something very, very cold touched my right arm, near the elbow. I was very freaked out, and took me longer to fall asleep.
Today I went to the Holloman Air & Space Show. They had the X Prize Cup there too. I got to see the F-22A (Raptor) fly. It was breathtaking! I am very glad I went. I purchased 2 shirts and a disposable camera. I took a ton of photos. Now I just need to get them developed.
I visit the hypnotherapist on the 31st. I am very nervous. I have been thinking back to my childhood (or rather, trying). I remember playing a game with one of my only good friends, Tracy. We would draw designs and stuff on the other’s back, and the person would try to guess what the other drew. I don’t know why I was so fascinated with it. I was all about that ‘game’ up til 12 yrs old…which is creepy. For me, I remember feeling peaceful and sleepy when someone would draw designs on my back with their fingers. I enjoyed the touch, and it always made me happy. I liked having my back touched with the tips of fingers. Maybe I am just weird but I’ve been thinking today that it might run a little deeper than simply playing a ‘game’. Noticed I have a blister or something on the middle finger of my right hand, kind of in the middle of the finger. It hurt a little once I noticed it, but the pain has gone away, and now it’s just an eyesore. I am so exhausted right now, I may just crash out.
Ok I guess technically it’s the 28th, I just got off work, it is 12:30 AM. Last night (10-26-2007/10-27-2007) I felt as though something was in my room while I was trying to fall asleep. Something very, very cold touched my right arm, near the elbow. I was very freaked out, and took me longer to fall asleep.
Today I went to the Holloman Air & Space Show. They had the X Prize Cup there too. I got to see the F-22A (Raptor) fly. It was breathtaking! I am very glad I went. I purchased 2 shirts and a disposable camera. I took a ton of photos. Now I just need to get them developed.
I visit the hypnotherapist on the 31st. I am very nervous. I have been thinking back to my childhood (or rather, trying). I remember playing a game with one of my only good friends, Tracy. We would draw designs and stuff on the other’s back, and the person would try to guess what the other drew. I don’t know why I was so fascinated with it. I was all about that ‘game’ up til 12 yrs old…which is creepy. For me, I remember feeling peaceful and sleepy when someone would draw designs on my back with their fingers. I enjoyed the touch, and it always made me happy. I liked having my back touched with the tips of fingers. Maybe I am just weird but I’ve been thinking today that it might run a little deeper than simply playing a ‘game’. Noticed I have a blister or something on the middle finger of my right hand, kind of in the middle of the finger. It hurt a little once I noticed it, but the pain has gone away, and now it’s just an eyesore. I am so exhausted right now, I may just crash out.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Diary post 10-26-2007
10-26-2007
Forgot to mention yesterday, mom had come to pick me up so I could cash my checks. I brought up a memory I had from California, back when I think I was around 10. I believe this was the same trip that gave me the ‘sleepy headache’. We got up around 3 or 4 in the morning to leave to go on a long camping vacation. I don’t think there were any planned meteor showers (i.e. Orionids, Perseids, etc). I turned my head to the skies anyway, and off to the right of the house (as I was facing it), I saw a gigantic green fireball. Everything about it was green, and it was HUGE as compared to the meteors I’ve seen during showers. It did not head downward like many I had seen before (and now), it headed more to the right, more horizontal. I remember pointing it out to my parents, who did indeed see it and commented that it must have been a meteor, which I met their theories with disbelief, but silenced myself, I was only 10, what did I know? It stayed in the skies until we packed up the van and left, a good maybe 30+ minutes. I asked my mother about it yesterday. She said she doesn’t remember any green fireball in the sky, but remembered seeing a lot of shooting stars. I don’t remember seeing any shooting stars, only the green fireball. I brought this up due to a Wiki from Abovetopsecret.com.
TinWiki: Green Fireballs
“In 1948, a very strange series of mysterious Green Fireballs were observed in the skies of New Mexico. Several world renowned experts in astronomy and meteors, such as Dr. Lincoln La Paz, were deeply puzzled by the incidents and an offical study was commenced… An informal discussion group was set up at Los Alamos by scientists who were very interested in the phenomenon. After much discussion, they all agreed that the green fireballs were not ordinary meteors at all, if indeed they were even meteors.”
I said in a posting earlier today I would ‘talk’ about my ‘sleepy headache’. I guess that would be the easiest and best way to put it. We (parents and I) were camping, if I remember correctly, in the redwoods of Northern California, heading up to Oregon and Washington. We stopped at a campground for a few days. One of these days was odd, It was mid afternoon, I’d say 3 or 4 PM. I never really was one for headaches. I was about 10 yrs old on this trip also. In the morning we had gone hiking, ate lunch and came back to the site to sit around, enjoy nature and read a book or Mad Magazine. At 3 or so I started getting a very bad headache. It wouldn’t stop. I tried ibuprofen, anything that didn’t have aspirin in it. Around 5 it was unbearable and I thought my head was going to explode. I told my parents I was going into the tent trailer to take a small nap, maybe that would help the pain go away. I went inside, and put my hoodie on since it was starting to get a little cold. I then curled up on top of my sleeping bag, put the ‘blinds’ down on my side, and passed out, almost immediately. I awoke the same way I fell asleep, on top of my sleeping bag, with hoodie and shoes on. I thought it was maybe 7 or 8 pm. I peeked my head out of my side and saw my parents eating oatmeal. I was wondering why they were eating oatmeal for dinner. I said something along those lines to them and they just looked at me confused and said it was 8 AM the next morning. I managed to sleep 15 or so hours without being tired, and having only a major headache. I have not had a headache like that since, or even before this incident. Since then if I get a headache, I’ll be more awake and alert than usual, since it feels like everything is being magnified. I still can’t explain it, and I don’t think my parent’s remember this at all.
Forgot to mention yesterday, mom had come to pick me up so I could cash my checks. I brought up a memory I had from California, back when I think I was around 10. I believe this was the same trip that gave me the ‘sleepy headache’. We got up around 3 or 4 in the morning to leave to go on a long camping vacation. I don’t think there were any planned meteor showers (i.e. Orionids, Perseids, etc). I turned my head to the skies anyway, and off to the right of the house (as I was facing it), I saw a gigantic green fireball. Everything about it was green, and it was HUGE as compared to the meteors I’ve seen during showers. It did not head downward like many I had seen before (and now), it headed more to the right, more horizontal. I remember pointing it out to my parents, who did indeed see it and commented that it must have been a meteor, which I met their theories with disbelief, but silenced myself, I was only 10, what did I know? It stayed in the skies until we packed up the van and left, a good maybe 30+ minutes. I asked my mother about it yesterday. She said she doesn’t remember any green fireball in the sky, but remembered seeing a lot of shooting stars. I don’t remember seeing any shooting stars, only the green fireball. I brought this up due to a Wiki from Abovetopsecret.com.
TinWiki: Green Fireballs
“In 1948, a very strange series of mysterious Green Fireballs were observed in the skies of New Mexico. Several world renowned experts in astronomy and meteors, such as Dr. Lincoln La Paz, were deeply puzzled by the incidents and an offical study was commenced… An informal discussion group was set up at Los Alamos by scientists who were very interested in the phenomenon. After much discussion, they all agreed that the green fireballs were not ordinary meteors at all, if indeed they were even meteors.”
I said in a posting earlier today I would ‘talk’ about my ‘sleepy headache’. I guess that would be the easiest and best way to put it. We (parents and I) were camping, if I remember correctly, in the redwoods of Northern California, heading up to Oregon and Washington. We stopped at a campground for a few days. One of these days was odd, It was mid afternoon, I’d say 3 or 4 PM. I never really was one for headaches. I was about 10 yrs old on this trip also. In the morning we had gone hiking, ate lunch and came back to the site to sit around, enjoy nature and read a book or Mad Magazine. At 3 or so I started getting a very bad headache. It wouldn’t stop. I tried ibuprofen, anything that didn’t have aspirin in it. Around 5 it was unbearable and I thought my head was going to explode. I told my parents I was going into the tent trailer to take a small nap, maybe that would help the pain go away. I went inside, and put my hoodie on since it was starting to get a little cold. I then curled up on top of my sleeping bag, put the ‘blinds’ down on my side, and passed out, almost immediately. I awoke the same way I fell asleep, on top of my sleeping bag, with hoodie and shoes on. I thought it was maybe 7 or 8 pm. I peeked my head out of my side and saw my parents eating oatmeal. I was wondering why they were eating oatmeal for dinner. I said something along those lines to them and they just looked at me confused and said it was 8 AM the next morning. I managed to sleep 15 or so hours without being tired, and having only a major headache. I have not had a headache like that since, or even before this incident. Since then if I get a headache, I’ll be more awake and alert than usual, since it feels like everything is being magnified. I still can’t explain it, and I don’t think my parent’s remember this at all.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Diary posts: 10-21-2007 & 10-25-2007
10-21-2007
Just your average day, up until about 1 PM. Again with the nosebleeds!!!
10-25-2007
4 days until I turn 23! My first bday on my own. Grandma sent me $100, and my uncle sent me a $15 Starbuck’s card. On the night of the 23rd, I noticed Vince had sent a MySpace message that morning and I did not receive it until later in the day, around 6 PM. It was decided that we were not making any headway in our relationship and the best course of action would be to remain friends. Once reading this I became very heartbroken, full of sadness and tears, although I knew it was coming. It was a very depressing evening. That night as I was getting ready for bed, I had moved my slippers and jacket to my bedroom, on the floor, near where I would get out of bed. It has been very cold in the mornings, So I have been thinking ahead and plotting for when I get up the next morning lol. I went to bed around 10 or 10:30 PM. I felt like I was moving around all night, including the feeling of walking, moving my legs a lot. I thought I was just tossing and turning, but something was wrong. I remember being in a ‘metallic’ hallway, staring at a very large and imposing door, with etchings all over it, although I can’t remember what they were. The door was dark colored, with even darker etchings, which made seeing said etchings very difficult to see. The hallway, besides being metallic and cold looking (and yes I remember being cold all night as well, as if I was never covered up ), with metal ‘hatch’ type flooring, and light underneath the hatching. I just stood there staring at the door, I do not remember anything else. The rest of the night was very…active to say the least, I felt as if I kept moving around all night (as previously stated). When I managed to wake up, it was about 9 AM and still cold in the trailer. I scoot off the side of my bed and put my jacket on, but I could not find my slippers. I could have sworn I put them beside my bed, along with the jacket. I stumbled out of my bedroom confused and found them in the living room, near the front door. This confuses me. If I went anywhere why didn’t I take my jacket? Did I not have time? As for going to bed depressed as well…I woke up with the feeling that everything was OK and that I didn’t have to worry about it. I felt more at peace about the whole situation, and I was mellow. I was not depressed nor upset about it anymore.
Just your average day, up until about 1 PM. Again with the nosebleeds!!!
10-25-2007
4 days until I turn 23! My first bday on my own. Grandma sent me $100, and my uncle sent me a $15 Starbuck’s card. On the night of the 23rd, I noticed Vince had sent a MySpace message that morning and I did not receive it until later in the day, around 6 PM. It was decided that we were not making any headway in our relationship and the best course of action would be to remain friends. Once reading this I became very heartbroken, full of sadness and tears, although I knew it was coming. It was a very depressing evening. That night as I was getting ready for bed, I had moved my slippers and jacket to my bedroom, on the floor, near where I would get out of bed. It has been very cold in the mornings, So I have been thinking ahead and plotting for when I get up the next morning lol. I went to bed around 10 or 10:30 PM. I felt like I was moving around all night, including the feeling of walking, moving my legs a lot. I thought I was just tossing and turning, but something was wrong. I remember being in a ‘metallic’ hallway, staring at a very large and imposing door, with etchings all over it, although I can’t remember what they were. The door was dark colored, with even darker etchings, which made seeing said etchings very difficult to see. The hallway, besides being metallic and cold looking (and yes I remember being cold all night as well, as if I was never covered up ), with metal ‘hatch’ type flooring, and light underneath the hatching. I just stood there staring at the door, I do not remember anything else. The rest of the night was very…active to say the least, I felt as if I kept moving around all night (as previously stated). When I managed to wake up, it was about 9 AM and still cold in the trailer. I scoot off the side of my bed and put my jacket on, but I could not find my slippers. I could have sworn I put them beside my bed, along with the jacket. I stumbled out of my bedroom confused and found them in the living room, near the front door. This confuses me. If I went anywhere why didn’t I take my jacket? Did I not have time? As for going to bed depressed as well…I woke up with the feeling that everything was OK and that I didn’t have to worry about it. I felt more at peace about the whole situation, and I was mellow. I was not depressed nor upset about it anymore.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Diary posts 10-19-2007 & 10-20-2007
10-19-2007
I had a funny dream last night/this morning. I don't think I've ever
laughed in a dream before, everything's been so serious, and oftentimes scary. This was a breath of fresh air for me.
I was driving my old vehicle up Indian Wells (Street near where I live). The roads were slick from rain and I was giggling to myself as I started to purposely fishtail, I kept doing it, then I began to just spin, over and over and over again. I felt like I was in a centrifuge, and was pulling some G's, I initially became a little shocked and scared, but quickly got
over it and started laughing. Hard. I couldn't stop laughing, I just kept spinning and roaring with laughter. I then woke up.
10-20-2007
Another dream! Wow 2 nights in a row after a while of dreamless sleep.
The dream resembled world of warcraft. Except I was myself and not a character type from the game, and there were ‘real’ people. At one point I ended up in a tree. I don’t know how I got up there. I spoke to a man in the tree (???), I was trying to get help for an energy source. The dream was very long but I can only remember the last bits of it. I was asking him for help, and he in turn asked for mine. I assisted him (I don’t remember what I did), and ended up ‘transported’ out of the tree and onto land, next to some water, I think a stream. I looked around and saw a lot of people (?) with the Gold exclamation points above their heads (Quest givers in WOW), still intent on finding this power source and help obtaining it. Weird!
The tree, I did not see any leaves, reminded me of very weird Bamboo, they were thick vine type things but were very sturdy and strong for vines (and huge).
I had a funny dream last night/this morning. I don't think I've ever
laughed in a dream before, everything's been so serious, and oftentimes scary. This was a breath of fresh air for me.
I was driving my old vehicle up Indian Wells (Street near where I live). The roads were slick from rain and I was giggling to myself as I started to purposely fishtail, I kept doing it, then I began to just spin, over and over and over again. I felt like I was in a centrifuge, and was pulling some G's, I initially became a little shocked and scared, but quickly got
over it and started laughing. Hard. I couldn't stop laughing, I just kept spinning and roaring with laughter. I then woke up.
10-20-2007
Another dream! Wow 2 nights in a row after a while of dreamless sleep.
The dream resembled world of warcraft. Except I was myself and not a character type from the game, and there were ‘real’ people. At one point I ended up in a tree. I don’t know how I got up there. I spoke to a man in the tree (???), I was trying to get help for an energy source. The dream was very long but I can only remember the last bits of it. I was asking him for help, and he in turn asked for mine. I assisted him (I don’t remember what I did), and ended up ‘transported’ out of the tree and onto land, next to some water, I think a stream. I looked around and saw a lot of people (?) with the Gold exclamation points above their heads (Quest givers in WOW), still intent on finding this power source and help obtaining it. Weird!
The tree, I did not see any leaves, reminded me of very weird Bamboo, they were thick vine type things but were very sturdy and strong for vines (and huge).
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Diary of 10-14-2007
10-14-2007
This whole neighborhood's goin ta hell lately.
I woke up at 2:30 or 3 this morning, because it sounded like the crackhead's dog behind me escaped and jumped my fence. I heard something hit the chain link fence, sounded kinda hard. I thought "wtf, oh the dog, oh well back to bed". Not the case. Something was making a s*** ton of noise around my bedroom, outside. Dog wasn't barking at all (crackhead keeps it outside at night to warn her). Sounded like something was being hammered, like right outside my bedroom!! I get up cautiously and checked the windows and I couldn't see anything. After I did that the noises pretty much died down and I was able to go to sleep. No one else heard these noises! I did find out an hr or so later after that some delinquents (sp) went and tagged the house near me (but nowhere near my bedroom). I've been thinking about it all day, The park is fenced in so heading my way would have been a dumb idea. The area they tagged was right next to the road so they would have had an easy escape route... Still trying to figure this out...
This whole neighborhood's goin ta hell lately.
I woke up at 2:30 or 3 this morning, because it sounded like the crackhead's dog behind me escaped and jumped my fence. I heard something hit the chain link fence, sounded kinda hard. I thought "wtf, oh the dog, oh well back to bed". Not the case. Something was making a s*** ton of noise around my bedroom, outside. Dog wasn't barking at all (crackhead keeps it outside at night to warn her). Sounded like something was being hammered, like right outside my bedroom!! I get up cautiously and checked the windows and I couldn't see anything. After I did that the noises pretty much died down and I was able to go to sleep. No one else heard these noises! I did find out an hr or so later after that some delinquents (sp) went and tagged the house near me (but nowhere near my bedroom). I've been thinking about it all day, The park is fenced in so heading my way would have been a dumb idea. The area they tagged was right next to the road so they would have had an easy escape route... Still trying to figure this out...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Diary of 10-13-2007
10-13-2007
I was too tired to write anymore last night. Had some weird things happen while talking to another experiencer. He had footage of what he thought were UFOs, or some kind of craft. He sent me the video and I could find them pretty easily. I finally told him about my dream too.
It is a very long conversation and will not post it publicly without his permission. A lot of very screwed up things happened during the course of the IM session mainly involving my PC and images wouldn't show. the IM doesn’t do all the “wtf” moments justice. After I finished talking to him, I went to bed. I could hear all kinds of noises outside my place, but I managed to finally sleep. When I sleep, lately I’ve only been sleeping under the throw, not under the covers. I don’t normally toss and turn enough to completely throw the throw off of me 100%, normally I’ll wake up with it bundled around my middle, with my feet and calves exposed. I woke up around 5 or 5:30 this morning, and the throw was in a crumpled heap next to me, and I was laying on almost the extreme left of the bed. It was abnormally bright outside for being 5 AM. I think maybe the cold woke me up. I kind of freaked out, and then looked at my cell phone, which I was laying on. After sighing at the time, I moved the throw back on me and fell back asleep. -_-
I had a very (for lack of a better word) f-d up realization occur to me, and I shared it with my best friend B:
Me: you know what's so f-d up? ok take a look at the dinosaurs, never
knew what hit them, right? They were not self aware. Their world was
eating and sleeping etc etc.
All of a sudden, BAM they all die off… but us, we're smart; we know
what's going on…
We're more in touch with what's going on in the outside, they forget
about themselves
you know? Friends all over the globe, life is more than eating
sleeping etc, it's much more than that right? We're able to see the
stars through telescopes and study the moon and other planets so we
know what's up we know we're going..
B: and yet we f*** up more than any other creature
Me: if it is indeed a doomsday scenario we know we're going to die.
(referring to 2012)and mass extinction, do you think to make room for
a new species?
B: yeah
Me: we know we're reaching an end; nothing else on this planet can do
the same this is on so many levels dude, its making my head hurt
B: well its not so bad though cuz ur gonna die anyway so what would
it matter
Me: it's the realization where things click together and you realize
that you can't do a f-g thing except hope that some kind of miracle
occurs
B: but in the end you can't do a thing anyway
Me: never could…Why be self aware if this was destiny? Why know all
this just to die out like everything else does…it hurts me
B: you think about it to much
Me: It's become more recurrent, I try to not think about it, never
really clicked in my brain til today though.
B: instead of being afraid of it you gotta come to terms with it and
just see it as part of the life cycle
Me: You think something smarter will take our place? I could only
hope, I guess lol
B: smarter things already are here... they just do what they need to
survive instead of f-g with everything until they cause
destruction, and i also think animals are self aware also.
Went to work, had a few weird things happen. This lady came in and I knew what she wanted. By the time she got to the counter I had her cigarettes on the counter and she nearly went white and shouted out “HOW DID U KNOW WHAT I WANTED?!” I shrugged and said a ‘hunch’. Later in the evening I had to use the restroom. I went in there and was about to lock the door when I thought I heard my coworker shout my name. I open the door, coworker’s minding her own business, but I see KC! Awesome. All sorts of people I don’t know just started talking to me like they knew me. Wtf? That went on pretty much all shift. -_-;
I was too tired to write anymore last night. Had some weird things happen while talking to another experiencer. He had footage of what he thought were UFOs, or some kind of craft. He sent me the video and I could find them pretty easily. I finally told him about my dream too.
It is a very long conversation and will not post it publicly without his permission. A lot of very screwed up things happened during the course of the IM session mainly involving my PC and images wouldn't show. the IM doesn’t do all the “wtf” moments justice. After I finished talking to him, I went to bed. I could hear all kinds of noises outside my place, but I managed to finally sleep. When I sleep, lately I’ve only been sleeping under the throw, not under the covers. I don’t normally toss and turn enough to completely throw the throw off of me 100%, normally I’ll wake up with it bundled around my middle, with my feet and calves exposed. I woke up around 5 or 5:30 this morning, and the throw was in a crumpled heap next to me, and I was laying on almost the extreme left of the bed. It was abnormally bright outside for being 5 AM. I think maybe the cold woke me up. I kind of freaked out, and then looked at my cell phone, which I was laying on. After sighing at the time, I moved the throw back on me and fell back asleep. -_-
I had a very (for lack of a better word) f-d up realization occur to me, and I shared it with my best friend B:
Me: you know what's so f-d up? ok take a look at the dinosaurs, never
knew what hit them, right? They were not self aware. Their world was
eating and sleeping etc etc.
All of a sudden, BAM they all die off… but us, we're smart; we know
what's going on…
We're more in touch with what's going on in the outside, they forget
about themselves
you know? Friends all over the globe, life is more than eating
sleeping etc, it's much more than that right? We're able to see the
stars through telescopes and study the moon and other planets so we
know what's up we know we're going..
B: and yet we f*** up more than any other creature
Me: if it is indeed a doomsday scenario we know we're going to die.
(referring to 2012)and mass extinction, do you think to make room for
a new species?
B: yeah
Me: we know we're reaching an end; nothing else on this planet can do
the same this is on so many levels dude, its making my head hurt
B: well its not so bad though cuz ur gonna die anyway so what would
it matter
Me: it's the realization where things click together and you realize
that you can't do a f-g thing except hope that some kind of miracle
occurs
B: but in the end you can't do a thing anyway
Me: never could…Why be self aware if this was destiny? Why know all
this just to die out like everything else does…it hurts me
B: you think about it to much
Me: It's become more recurrent, I try to not think about it, never
really clicked in my brain til today though.
B: instead of being afraid of it you gotta come to terms with it and
just see it as part of the life cycle
Me: You think something smarter will take our place? I could only
hope, I guess lol
B: smarter things already are here... they just do what they need to
survive instead of f-g with everything until they cause
destruction, and i also think animals are self aware also.
Went to work, had a few weird things happen. This lady came in and I knew what she wanted. By the time she got to the counter I had her cigarettes on the counter and she nearly went white and shouted out “HOW DID U KNOW WHAT I WANTED?!” I shrugged and said a ‘hunch’. Later in the evening I had to use the restroom. I went in there and was about to lock the door when I thought I heard my coworker shout my name. I open the door, coworker’s minding her own business, but I see KC! Awesome. All sorts of people I don’t know just started talking to me like they knew me. Wtf? That went on pretty much all shift. -_-;
Friday, October 12, 2007
Diary of 10-12-2007
10-12-2007
Just got done listening to Coast to Coast AM. They had a man on there named Jim Sparks. He was able to recall most of his experiences and told about several of them. All were interesting and a few of the elements he described hit a bit close to home. I decided to call in and ask him a question. Actually made it through, I was so nervous. I told him a little of what was going on in my life and asked him if he’s heard of beings who wear ‘robes’. Apparently he has seen them. He asked me if I had a strong feeling of purpose, was I environmentally aware? I told him of my ‘earthquake’ sense when I was in California, and how I was all about nature when I was younger.
I really want to talk to him more in depth but he is a very busy man. Wish I could attend some of the conferences he’s scheduled to attend. Alas work and money hold me back lol. Here's his URL Jim Sparks
Been discussing the things that have been happening with a few choice people. What they say makes a ton of sense, I wonder why I thought the two grays were 'family'?
Just got done listening to Coast to Coast AM. They had a man on there named Jim Sparks. He was able to recall most of his experiences and told about several of them. All were interesting and a few of the elements he described hit a bit close to home. I decided to call in and ask him a question. Actually made it through, I was so nervous. I told him a little of what was going on in my life and asked him if he’s heard of beings who wear ‘robes’. Apparently he has seen them. He asked me if I had a strong feeling of purpose, was I environmentally aware? I told him of my ‘earthquake’ sense when I was in California, and how I was all about nature when I was younger.
I really want to talk to him more in depth but he is a very busy man. Wish I could attend some of the conferences he’s scheduled to attend. Alas work and money hold me back lol. Here's his URL Jim Sparks
Been discussing the things that have been happening with a few choice people. What they say makes a ton of sense, I wonder why I thought the two grays were 'family'?
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Diary of 10-11-2007
10-11-2007
It is 7:49 AM. What a weird time to wake up! I felt like I was forced out of a dream. It was such a beautiful dream. I’m not sure how it started, but I think I was researching UFOs. One day as I was wandering around, one landed, it even flew above me, the bottom was smooth. Lucky for me, I had brought a camera. I saw its occupants, a few grays, and took pictures of them. Day or two later I had the film developed but all I saw were people where the grays were (like they had on costumes, or disguises), and their craft looked, well, didn’t look like what I saw! I was slightly beyond irritated. That night something made me go outside, and what I saw was amazing! The whole sky, lit up by tons of their craft!!!!! It was so beautiful! I was so happy, when I went into the backyard; I saw that one had landed in the backyard (It looked like this was my parent’s backyard). I peer around the corner and see a ‘family’ of grays, at least what I assumed was a ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ couple. One looked more feminine and the other looked masculine. Well as much as grays could be, I guess! I greet them as if I hadn’t seen them in forever, almost like it was having a family member come over after a long time of being away. I gave them a big hug and told them that the pictures didn’t come out right. After stating this, It was 'explained', not verbally, but feeling-wise, that any type of photography, including photos and film taken
'stealthily' would not work out,
no matter how stealthy one tries to be, they always know where you are. It was explained and understood that photography and filming, especially close ups, were practically impossible,
that they could change the images, to protect themselves. I understood it to be one of their mental abilities, to
change negatives/photos and motion picture. The ‘feminine’ one cared a lot about me, I could feel it. It used its hand and held my left cheek in its palm, and told me something, almost as if ‘she’ was a mother trying to discuss things with her daughter. Its mouth never moved. I nodded at them and told them that they could go fuel up and come back later if they wanted. Something then shoved me out of the dream.
O_O Again I woke up exhausted.
Grr I tried to light incense just now and I’m missing the ring that goes on top of the bottle to hold the incense. Where the hell did it go? I never touched it the last time I burned incense, about 2-3 days ago. I don’t think the wild mouse in my house could reach it…so where is it???
It is 7:49 AM. What a weird time to wake up! I felt like I was forced out of a dream. It was such a beautiful dream. I’m not sure how it started, but I think I was researching UFOs. One day as I was wandering around, one landed, it even flew above me, the bottom was smooth. Lucky for me, I had brought a camera. I saw its occupants, a few grays, and took pictures of them. Day or two later I had the film developed but all I saw were people where the grays were (like they had on costumes, or disguises), and their craft looked, well, didn’t look like what I saw! I was slightly beyond irritated. That night something made me go outside, and what I saw was amazing! The whole sky, lit up by tons of their craft!!!!! It was so beautiful! I was so happy, when I went into the backyard; I saw that one had landed in the backyard (It looked like this was my parent’s backyard). I peer around the corner and see a ‘family’ of grays, at least what I assumed was a ‘husband’ and ‘wife’ couple. One looked more feminine and the other looked masculine. Well as much as grays could be, I guess! I greet them as if I hadn’t seen them in forever, almost like it was having a family member come over after a long time of being away. I gave them a big hug and told them that the pictures didn’t come out right. After stating this, It was 'explained', not verbally, but feeling-wise, that any type of photography, including photos and film taken
'stealthily' would not work out,
no matter how stealthy one tries to be, they always know where you are. It was explained and understood that photography and filming, especially close ups, were practically impossible,
that they could change the images, to protect themselves. I understood it to be one of their mental abilities, to
change negatives/photos and motion picture. The ‘feminine’ one cared a lot about me, I could feel it. It used its hand and held my left cheek in its palm, and told me something, almost as if ‘she’ was a mother trying to discuss things with her daughter. Its mouth never moved. I nodded at them and told them that they could go fuel up and come back later if they wanted. Something then shoved me out of the dream.
O_O Again I woke up exhausted.
Grr I tried to light incense just now and I’m missing the ring that goes on top of the bottle to hold the incense. Where the hell did it go? I never touched it the last time I burned incense, about 2-3 days ago. I don’t think the wild mouse in my house could reach it…so where is it???
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Diary post 10-10-2007
10-10-2007
I just got home after work. It’s been a weird day, I think. I woke up tired again, around 9:30-10 AM. I piddled around the house for about an hour or two, and then I felt very exhausted around 11:30 AM. I sat on the loveseat, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Something wasn’t right to begin with. I doze and enter what I think is the same state I was in on Monday afternoon, but I could feel pressure on my wrists, like hands holding them, trying to move me up, off the love seat. I don’t know if this was a memory, or me going astral or something happening in real time. Somehow I arrived in a pure white room, very bare. I panicked and pulled myself out. When I came to, my heart was racing and I was out of breath. I am unsure if I lost any time.
I head to work, chipper as usual, throwing this ‘experience’ behind me. A few hours into my shift, Some crazy woman had some mardi gras beads in her hands and she was smiling and giggling to her bf, or husband or whoever it was. They get to the counter and she hands me the beads, saying someone gave them to her and it made her feel happy and lucky. She said she wanted to give the beads to someone and make them happy and lucky too. I am currently wearing the beads. She was a little weird, but very nice…and extremely happy. It gave me a good smile for several hours, and time went by fast, until about 9 PM. A customer was harassed outside the store by a drunken man asking for change. In fear she gave him most of her change and came in the store and told me. I told her I would deny the sale if he came to the register with alcohol. Satisfied, she paid for her beer and drove off. A few minutes later, the drunken man stumbled into the store. Go figure, he went to the beer section, stumbled back to the register, nearly knocking over a few boxes of Dasani 1 liters. I stood there and shook my head firmly and told him “Sir I am not selling you any beer.” He said OK, placed the beer on the counter and wandered out of the store. I saw him for a while after that wandering our parking lot bothering customers. I decided to call the police, and told them about this man. He came out of the Laundromat a few minutes after I hung up with DPS looking very hostile and intimidating, scaring one of our regular customers, she hopped into her car fast and took off, he also scared some young men, they ran away and hid near the restroom of our store, thinking he was going to beat the everlovin s*** out of them. He stepped into the store, looking very angry and demanded what the regular was talking about. I simply said “She was talking to me”. He starts mumbling and slurring, and I told him firmly, “Sir we’re not going to have any problems here, OK?”, and he moves toward the register, and starts mumbling at my coworker, and my coworker was insistent that we didn’t want trouble. He seemed to not calm down, and I was beginning to wonder when he was going to attack one of us (Probably me since I was within reach). Lucky me, a cop car pulled in from out of the blue, and the drunk man went outside to ‘turn himself in’. After that, the night was pretty much dead. The police officer was pretty funny though :-D
I just got home after work. It’s been a weird day, I think. I woke up tired again, around 9:30-10 AM. I piddled around the house for about an hour or two, and then I felt very exhausted around 11:30 AM. I sat on the loveseat, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. Something wasn’t right to begin with. I doze and enter what I think is the same state I was in on Monday afternoon, but I could feel pressure on my wrists, like hands holding them, trying to move me up, off the love seat. I don’t know if this was a memory, or me going astral or something happening in real time. Somehow I arrived in a pure white room, very bare. I panicked and pulled myself out. When I came to, my heart was racing and I was out of breath. I am unsure if I lost any time.
I head to work, chipper as usual, throwing this ‘experience’ behind me. A few hours into my shift, Some crazy woman had some mardi gras beads in her hands and she was smiling and giggling to her bf, or husband or whoever it was. They get to the counter and she hands me the beads, saying someone gave them to her and it made her feel happy and lucky. She said she wanted to give the beads to someone and make them happy and lucky too. I am currently wearing the beads. She was a little weird, but very nice…and extremely happy. It gave me a good smile for several hours, and time went by fast, until about 9 PM. A customer was harassed outside the store by a drunken man asking for change. In fear she gave him most of her change and came in the store and told me. I told her I would deny the sale if he came to the register with alcohol. Satisfied, she paid for her beer and drove off. A few minutes later, the drunken man stumbled into the store. Go figure, he went to the beer section, stumbled back to the register, nearly knocking over a few boxes of Dasani 1 liters. I stood there and shook my head firmly and told him “Sir I am not selling you any beer.” He said OK, placed the beer on the counter and wandered out of the store. I saw him for a while after that wandering our parking lot bothering customers. I decided to call the police, and told them about this man. He came out of the Laundromat a few minutes after I hung up with DPS looking very hostile and intimidating, scaring one of our regular customers, she hopped into her car fast and took off, he also scared some young men, they ran away and hid near the restroom of our store, thinking he was going to beat the everlovin s*** out of them. He stepped into the store, looking very angry and demanded what the regular was talking about. I simply said “She was talking to me”. He starts mumbling and slurring, and I told him firmly, “Sir we’re not going to have any problems here, OK?”, and he moves toward the register, and starts mumbling at my coworker, and my coworker was insistent that we didn’t want trouble. He seemed to not calm down, and I was beginning to wonder when he was going to attack one of us (Probably me since I was within reach). Lucky me, a cop car pulled in from out of the blue, and the drunk man went outside to ‘turn himself in’. After that, the night was pretty much dead. The police officer was pretty funny though :-D
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Diary posts 9-16-2007 to 10-08-2007
9-16-2007
Have this weird area near my Raidho tattoo, very pink, starting to get puffy/swollen. It’s happened before on the back of my calf, same leg.
9-17-2007
It’s gotten worse. Very puffy, although the gap in the R is not puffy at all, it seems to only be affecting my tattoo, and the area before it. Not painful, not itchy. No true sign of being bitten by anything. Took a picture of a spider bite I received recently to compare and contrast.
9-18 / 9-19 - 2007
I had a weird dream...and before then...I had a full body spasm. Maybe I'm just going nuts or something...
I don’t know what time it was or if I was dreaming (I might have, but don't remember), I was startled nearly awake by what felt like a full body shiver or shock. I say nearly awake because I couldn't really open my eyes after it, and went immediately back to 'sleep'. It was like someone used some kind of cattle prod or something on my spine...Scared the shit out of me, but I just fell right back asleep (which is kind of weird in and of itself)...So a while after that, I have this really weird dream, I'm at some big...place, I don’t know how else to describe it, I'm with my bf, but he gets taken off somewhere and I get really depressed about it, but a guy comes up to me, and for a moment he looks like my ex, but then changes to some guy I have no idea who it is, but it’s like he knows me and starts talking to me. He shows a weird kind of interest in me, and leads me off, talking about training for 'military', and I just nod and agree. He keeps going on about training, and then starts talking about emotions. After that I don't remember much of the dream, but I do remember running off, looking for my bf, or someone I knew, running past these strange creatures, trying to distract a person who was chasing after me, he catches up, and turns out to be friendly, wasn’t the guy from the beginning of the dream, but looked almost like him. He leads me to a hidden hallway, and leads me to a room, it's almost like those hallways in a doctors office, with all the doors and such. And there's a table...Not an examining table...it was decorated, and we stayed in there, he was teaching me ...i guess best word to use would be a ritual. I don't know what it was for, but that’s how it came across to me, he let me mess around with the tools and was guiding me into moving correctly...Halfway through I woke up.
Also, Injury on my left leg/ankle is fading fast; swelling has decreased, and now appears to be some kind of puncture wound there. It has become more bruised than anything. How can a ‘bite’ turn into a bruise?
(Ironically enough Raidho is Norse rune for Chariot/Wagon. It symbolizes: travel, journey, evolution, change of setting; seeking a larger perspective. Rhythm, both personal and worldly, dance of life) I was pulled to this rune when choosing for tattoos. I have Algiz on my other leg (Algiz Upside down peace sign without the Circle: Protection, a shield; The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense; warding off of evil, shield, guardian. Connection with the gods, awakening, higher life. It can be used to channel energies appropriately.)
9-21-2007
Only remember 2 minutes of this dream. I’m in a conference room with a man, one of the two from the last dream, there’s a projection on the wall but I can’t see if it’s blank or there’s something up on it. I realize I’m wearing a hat and I remove it (wtf its one of those military hats), and the man looks at me and says “Thank you”. I get embarrassed and look at him, we end up staring for a few more minutes, then I wake up. I can't remember for the life of me what the color of his eyes were,
which is weird since I figure if you're staring at someones eyes
that long you'd get a good look at the color and remember it. I know
I was dreaming before this but I don’t know what I was dreaming about or what lead to this.
9-29-2007
I was tired as all hell about 8:36 PM. I recline in my chair, and I dozed off for a few minutes. I can normally sleep anywhere, but I was compelled to open my eyes, and i turned my head to the window, I don't know why, and I saw its face.. it had a big head, and its hands were pressed lightly against the window, big eyes...I initially just stared at it, suddenly my heart is racing like I just had the shit scared out of me, facing my computer screen, sitting straight up instead of slouching into the chair like I was when I started dozing off. I was confused and very frightened looking around, a little lost, until I saw the clock on the pc, which said 9 PM. WTF?
9-30-2007
Sinus issues and nosebleeds today -_-. This morning I was awoken by what I thought was a car driving up to my house, but it was like 3-4 am and I know my friends don’t disturb me around that time because for the most part I’m fast asleep. Spoke to Beca today, she’s hinting around that I might be having neurological issues. Also she ragged on me again about our first visit to Roswell (we went to the UFO event in ‘05), and how I was gone for about 3 ½ hours. This makes no freaking sense. Her grandmother had recently evicted some non-rent payers from a house she owned, so it was at the time uninhabited. So, we got to spend the weekend there in an empty house. Actually, it was very fun. I remember getting up one morning, deciding to grab a breakfast sandwich at McDonalds, which was only a minute or 3 away from the house. From what I remember her and my bf at the time were both asleep when I left. I changed my mind while I was driving and decided to head to the Roswell convention center and get some books and check out a few of the booths there. This took me no longer than an hour. I think I bought maybe 2 books, and decided to leave. I did go to McDonalds, ordered a sandwich and a large Root Beer. IIRC I ate the sandwich at McDonalds, but took the drink home, where Beca and my bf were waiting, very irritated with me. I don’t remember ever being out of the house for more than an hour or two at the most. But she swears up and down I was gone 3 ½ hours. Whaaa?
Had a sense of urgency to finish Communion (movie) today. I used to have the book but it disappeared, so I have not been able to read it. Tried 3 other times to watch the movie, all to no avail, I always stopped mid-2/3 of the way through. I was very close to shutting off the media player today. I had to step away and calm myself and go for a walk. I was watching it, I managed to overcome complete fear when the part with his first ‘experience’, when the grey (or rather orange) peeked around the door. Ok, check. Overcame that fear. Everything was going well, I was handling it, until the scene with that robotic creature with the spiral chest and weird hat entered his room, I nearly screamed and I had to pause it I was so fckin terrified, I even started to cry. I really thought I couldn’t handle watching it again. But after calming myself down and taking that walk (mystery in and of itself), I managed to get the courage to continue and I finally finished watching that blasted movie. Sooner or later I need to do the same with Fire in the Sky.
Now, about that walk. Like I said I was pretty upset with the movie, so I put my jeans back on and my sandals (I was in my Pajamas), and decided to walk to the store. I had posted a message on a message board saying I would be right back (it has a thing on it that tells you how long ago the last post was), and headed out. Now the store I walked to is a walk that takes no longer than 2-3 minutes, depending on your walking speed. I live right behind the store. Kid you not. Anyway, I get there, I’m sure I was only there for 10 minutes, seeing what kind of snack I want, and talking to my coworker. I head back and I sit back at the desk and post that I am back on the message board. I then look at when he posted, and the post above his was mine, the one where I said I would BRB, it was posted nearly 30 minutes from when I arrived back.
10-1-2007
I woke up this morning with a huge scratch on my right leg. It’s a very superficial scratch but it hurts deep, which makes no sense at all. Don’t recall any dreams. I keep waking up suddenly in the middle of the night; it takes me such a long time to fall back asleep. What the hell is going on?
10-3-2007
Haven’t been having any dreams during my sleep. Weird. I attempted to call a hypnotherapist but all I got was her answering machine. Bf and I have been falling apart lately, and today we started talking again. So that’s good. He said he is supportive of me, which is good too. I still feel like he’s forcing it a little but we’ll see. My co-worker and I saw something neat in the sky. It was heading southwest I think. I originally thought it was a star, but my thought was busted in half by the fact it was blinking. I watched it for a little, but it was moving extremely slow, weirdly enough slower than a plane. I brought my coworker out thinking he might know, but he had no idea and saw it blinking too, it had moved a little from where I first saw it, but nothing amazing. The lights were blinking like a pattern, no red or blue like on a plane/jet. I go back out 40 mins to an hr, it had moved a good distance, but still visible, for a minute. I kept an eye on it for a minute, and it disappeared. I came out after closing and it was nowhere. I dunno what it is, it could be man-made or something. Maybe a satellite. Interesting to see nevertheless.
10-04-2007
Have to take care of the cats for four days so, parents brought them by. All in all it’s been a quiet day
10-05-2007
Just woke up after a restless sleep. I blame the cats. I did have a dream though which is a change from all the non-dream nights I’ve had. Kept walking down this street to a bar, and I always went and hid in the back and watched TV. I was at another place though earlier, like a house but not really. Becca showed up with James, she was very pregnant, she had brought over a few things and was speaking to me, full of comfort and support. I can’t remember why, and normally she never acts that way which is even weirder. She dropped off a few things for me and headed out the door before me, so once I finished up doing whatever, I had to go find her. I walk back to the bar, munching on a sandwich that was pretty close to falling apart, I turn and on the street I see Vince with Nate, driving up the street. I wave and keep going. I’m almost to the bar and this androgynous person approaches me (I can’t tell if it’s male or female), and asks if I wish to purchase a lottery ticket or a scratcher. I politely tell it no and insist I do not gamble anymore. It keeps insisting I can win 2000 dollars but I shake my head and keep walking. As I walk off I can hear it muttering “But I need to find a bathroom”. I get to the bar, and go off in the back; it’s like a back room, almost empty, the walls are very white, there are interesting plants around the room, and a chair and TV. I sit on the chair, turn on the TV and wake up.
After coming home from work, I’ve remembered a few details of this dream. I wrote the points down more like bulletin points instead of complete sentences so I will try to put them back together again.
When I say bar, I thought it was a bar of some sort, because of the entrance. It was an open air entrance, with a bar-railing in front of the opening. I don’t remember anything inside though, except the bare room. The room was white…so white it was almost blinding. It looked as if there were some plant tendrils, like the ones you hang from the ceiling. Again, I do not remember the inside of the building. I entered and in a heartbeat I was in the white room. I sat on something, although when I entered again I could not find any chair, but I sat in where I thought the chair would be, and viola I sat upon an invisible chair.
I saw Nate and Vince in the car on the street heading the other way. They waved at me, but were generally not that great looking impersonators (IMO).
The androgynous person was tall and spindly, very thin, arms very, very skinny. I can’t remember if it had hair though.
The hypnotherapist called earlier today while I was at work. She had a family emergency but said she would try to call me Sunday or Monday to see what’s going on and discuss if its worth it. I need to see if she’s worth her salt.
10-08-2007
Woke up at 8:30 or so to my phone ringing. It was the hypnotherapist in Tularosa. Apparently she’s been doin hypnotherapy for 22 years or so. She wants $75 a session, and only goes to her Tularosa one on Wednesdays. I asked her about her beliefs in UFOs, she said she believes in them, she answered with a lot of emotion. I then asked her about abductees. She said she’s worked with two about 10 yrs ago, one was very true, while the other was “very murky”. So, she’s had some experience dealing with experiencers, but not enough to be biased. –I’ll write more later.
Funny bit of synchronicity just now. I was reading a Wiki for “UFO’s in Fiction”, mentioned an episode of Star Trek, titled "Tomorrow is Yesterday”. “The Enterprise is mistaken for a large UFO by the US Air Force, and almost shot down by a fighter jet” (A TOS episode). I thought I heard my parents coming up the drive so I turned off my monitor and looked out; no one was there, just a car passing by. I sighed and sat on the loveseat and turned on the TV. Once the commercial ended, G4 put Star Trek back on. The episode? Tomorrow is Yesterday. Effin weird!!
Just got back from Las Cruces. We left around 3:35-3:40. Normally when I go to Cruces or El Paso, and I am not driving I will “Nap”, although I’m sure technically it is not a nap. I’m aware, at least audibly aware, my eyes are closed and I believe now that I enter more of a trance/meditation state instead of napping. Today was one of the more weirder ones. I am not sure if it was a data download or my own mental processes unlocking hidden memories. I enter this state, and instead of relaxing, something 'clicks' on, I see brightness in my closed eyes. Soon I begin seeing planets, planets turning into galaxies, like I am traveling past them. Then in a flash I see a grey in front of me (thank you for letting me see you finally, I think to myself). Back to more planets and galaxies. It is very awe inspiring. I see shapes and symbols, but I can’t remember what they were. They were very blurry. In another flash, I see a tuft of hair, I can’t make it out, so it is shown to me several times, each time I can see more of it….it’s a baby!! Its hair is actually kind of long for an infant, and very wild. It is considerably smaller than a normal infant, I wondered if
something was wrong with it. A grey puts it in my arms, and I hold it for a time, until flash again, and it’s a mushroom cloud? What? I then realign myself and wake up.
Have this weird area near my Raidho tattoo, very pink, starting to get puffy/swollen. It’s happened before on the back of my calf, same leg.
9-17-2007
It’s gotten worse. Very puffy, although the gap in the R is not puffy at all, it seems to only be affecting my tattoo, and the area before it. Not painful, not itchy. No true sign of being bitten by anything. Took a picture of a spider bite I received recently to compare and contrast.
9-18 / 9-19 - 2007
I had a weird dream...and before then...I had a full body spasm. Maybe I'm just going nuts or something...
I don’t know what time it was or if I was dreaming (I might have, but don't remember), I was startled nearly awake by what felt like a full body shiver or shock. I say nearly awake because I couldn't really open my eyes after it, and went immediately back to 'sleep'. It was like someone used some kind of cattle prod or something on my spine...Scared the shit out of me, but I just fell right back asleep (which is kind of weird in and of itself)...So a while after that, I have this really weird dream, I'm at some big...place, I don’t know how else to describe it, I'm with my bf, but he gets taken off somewhere and I get really depressed about it, but a guy comes up to me, and for a moment he looks like my ex, but then changes to some guy I have no idea who it is, but it’s like he knows me and starts talking to me. He shows a weird kind of interest in me, and leads me off, talking about training for 'military', and I just nod and agree. He keeps going on about training, and then starts talking about emotions. After that I don't remember much of the dream, but I do remember running off, looking for my bf, or someone I knew, running past these strange creatures, trying to distract a person who was chasing after me, he catches up, and turns out to be friendly, wasn’t the guy from the beginning of the dream, but looked almost like him. He leads me to a hidden hallway, and leads me to a room, it's almost like those hallways in a doctors office, with all the doors and such. And there's a table...Not an examining table...it was decorated, and we stayed in there, he was teaching me ...i guess best word to use would be a ritual. I don't know what it was for, but that’s how it came across to me, he let me mess around with the tools and was guiding me into moving correctly...Halfway through I woke up.
Also, Injury on my left leg/ankle is fading fast; swelling has decreased, and now appears to be some kind of puncture wound there. It has become more bruised than anything. How can a ‘bite’ turn into a bruise?
(Ironically enough Raidho is Norse rune for Chariot/Wagon. It symbolizes: travel, journey, evolution, change of setting; seeking a larger perspective. Rhythm, both personal and worldly, dance of life) I was pulled to this rune when choosing for tattoos. I have Algiz on my other leg (Algiz Upside down peace sign without the Circle: Protection, a shield; The protective urge to shelter oneself or others. Defense; warding off of evil, shield, guardian. Connection with the gods, awakening, higher life. It can be used to channel energies appropriately.)
9-21-2007
Only remember 2 minutes of this dream. I’m in a conference room with a man, one of the two from the last dream, there’s a projection on the wall but I can’t see if it’s blank or there’s something up on it. I realize I’m wearing a hat and I remove it (wtf its one of those military hats), and the man looks at me and says “Thank you”. I get embarrassed and look at him, we end up staring for a few more minutes, then I wake up. I can't remember for the life of me what the color of his eyes were,
which is weird since I figure if you're staring at someones eyes
that long you'd get a good look at the color and remember it. I know
I was dreaming before this but I don’t know what I was dreaming about or what lead to this.
9-29-2007
I was tired as all hell about 8:36 PM. I recline in my chair, and I dozed off for a few minutes. I can normally sleep anywhere, but I was compelled to open my eyes, and i turned my head to the window, I don't know why, and I saw its face.. it had a big head, and its hands were pressed lightly against the window, big eyes...I initially just stared at it, suddenly my heart is racing like I just had the shit scared out of me, facing my computer screen, sitting straight up instead of slouching into the chair like I was when I started dozing off. I was confused and very frightened looking around, a little lost, until I saw the clock on the pc, which said 9 PM. WTF?
9-30-2007
Sinus issues and nosebleeds today -_-. This morning I was awoken by what I thought was a car driving up to my house, but it was like 3-4 am and I know my friends don’t disturb me around that time because for the most part I’m fast asleep. Spoke to Beca today, she’s hinting around that I might be having neurological issues. Also she ragged on me again about our first visit to Roswell (we went to the UFO event in ‘05), and how I was gone for about 3 ½ hours. This makes no freaking sense. Her grandmother had recently evicted some non-rent payers from a house she owned, so it was at the time uninhabited. So, we got to spend the weekend there in an empty house. Actually, it was very fun. I remember getting up one morning, deciding to grab a breakfast sandwich at McDonalds, which was only a minute or 3 away from the house. From what I remember her and my bf at the time were both asleep when I left. I changed my mind while I was driving and decided to head to the Roswell convention center and get some books and check out a few of the booths there. This took me no longer than an hour. I think I bought maybe 2 books, and decided to leave. I did go to McDonalds, ordered a sandwich and a large Root Beer. IIRC I ate the sandwich at McDonalds, but took the drink home, where Beca and my bf were waiting, very irritated with me. I don’t remember ever being out of the house for more than an hour or two at the most. But she swears up and down I was gone 3 ½ hours. Whaaa?
Had a sense of urgency to finish Communion (movie) today. I used to have the book but it disappeared, so I have not been able to read it. Tried 3 other times to watch the movie, all to no avail, I always stopped mid-2/3 of the way through. I was very close to shutting off the media player today. I had to step away and calm myself and go for a walk. I was watching it, I managed to overcome complete fear when the part with his first ‘experience’, when the grey (or rather orange) peeked around the door. Ok, check. Overcame that fear. Everything was going well, I was handling it, until the scene with that robotic creature with the spiral chest and weird hat entered his room, I nearly screamed and I had to pause it I was so fckin terrified, I even started to cry. I really thought I couldn’t handle watching it again. But after calming myself down and taking that walk (mystery in and of itself), I managed to get the courage to continue and I finally finished watching that blasted movie. Sooner or later I need to do the same with Fire in the Sky.
Now, about that walk. Like I said I was pretty upset with the movie, so I put my jeans back on and my sandals (I was in my Pajamas), and decided to walk to the store. I had posted a message on a message board saying I would be right back (it has a thing on it that tells you how long ago the last post was), and headed out. Now the store I walked to is a walk that takes no longer than 2-3 minutes, depending on your walking speed. I live right behind the store. Kid you not. Anyway, I get there, I’m sure I was only there for 10 minutes, seeing what kind of snack I want, and talking to my coworker. I head back and I sit back at the desk and post that I am back on the message board. I then look at when he posted, and the post above his was mine, the one where I said I would BRB, it was posted nearly 30 minutes from when I arrived back.
10-1-2007
I woke up this morning with a huge scratch on my right leg. It’s a very superficial scratch but it hurts deep, which makes no sense at all. Don’t recall any dreams. I keep waking up suddenly in the middle of the night; it takes me such a long time to fall back asleep. What the hell is going on?
10-3-2007
Haven’t been having any dreams during my sleep. Weird. I attempted to call a hypnotherapist but all I got was her answering machine. Bf and I have been falling apart lately, and today we started talking again. So that’s good. He said he is supportive of me, which is good too. I still feel like he’s forcing it a little but we’ll see. My co-worker and I saw something neat in the sky. It was heading southwest I think. I originally thought it was a star, but my thought was busted in half by the fact it was blinking. I watched it for a little, but it was moving extremely slow, weirdly enough slower than a plane. I brought my coworker out thinking he might know, but he had no idea and saw it blinking too, it had moved a little from where I first saw it, but nothing amazing. The lights were blinking like a pattern, no red or blue like on a plane/jet. I go back out 40 mins to an hr, it had moved a good distance, but still visible, for a minute. I kept an eye on it for a minute, and it disappeared. I came out after closing and it was nowhere. I dunno what it is, it could be man-made or something. Maybe a satellite. Interesting to see nevertheless.
10-04-2007
Have to take care of the cats for four days so, parents brought them by. All in all it’s been a quiet day
10-05-2007
Just woke up after a restless sleep. I blame the cats. I did have a dream though which is a change from all the non-dream nights I’ve had. Kept walking down this street to a bar, and I always went and hid in the back and watched TV. I was at another place though earlier, like a house but not really. Becca showed up with James, she was very pregnant, she had brought over a few things and was speaking to me, full of comfort and support. I can’t remember why, and normally she never acts that way which is even weirder. She dropped off a few things for me and headed out the door before me, so once I finished up doing whatever, I had to go find her. I walk back to the bar, munching on a sandwich that was pretty close to falling apart, I turn and on the street I see Vince with Nate, driving up the street. I wave and keep going. I’m almost to the bar and this androgynous person approaches me (I can’t tell if it’s male or female), and asks if I wish to purchase a lottery ticket or a scratcher. I politely tell it no and insist I do not gamble anymore. It keeps insisting I can win 2000 dollars but I shake my head and keep walking. As I walk off I can hear it muttering “But I need to find a bathroom”. I get to the bar, and go off in the back; it’s like a back room, almost empty, the walls are very white, there are interesting plants around the room, and a chair and TV. I sit on the chair, turn on the TV and wake up.
After coming home from work, I’ve remembered a few details of this dream. I wrote the points down more like bulletin points instead of complete sentences so I will try to put them back together again.
When I say bar, I thought it was a bar of some sort, because of the entrance. It was an open air entrance, with a bar-railing in front of the opening. I don’t remember anything inside though, except the bare room. The room was white…so white it was almost blinding. It looked as if there were some plant tendrils, like the ones you hang from the ceiling. Again, I do not remember the inside of the building. I entered and in a heartbeat I was in the white room. I sat on something, although when I entered again I could not find any chair, but I sat in where I thought the chair would be, and viola I sat upon an invisible chair.
I saw Nate and Vince in the car on the street heading the other way. They waved at me, but were generally not that great looking impersonators (IMO).
The androgynous person was tall and spindly, very thin, arms very, very skinny. I can’t remember if it had hair though.
The hypnotherapist called earlier today while I was at work. She had a family emergency but said she would try to call me Sunday or Monday to see what’s going on and discuss if its worth it. I need to see if she’s worth her salt.
10-08-2007
Woke up at 8:30 or so to my phone ringing. It was the hypnotherapist in Tularosa. Apparently she’s been doin hypnotherapy for 22 years or so. She wants $75 a session, and only goes to her Tularosa one on Wednesdays. I asked her about her beliefs in UFOs, she said she believes in them, she answered with a lot of emotion. I then asked her about abductees. She said she’s worked with two about 10 yrs ago, one was very true, while the other was “very murky”. So, she’s had some experience dealing with experiencers, but not enough to be biased. –I’ll write more later.
Funny bit of synchronicity just now. I was reading a Wiki for “UFO’s in Fiction”, mentioned an episode of Star Trek, titled "Tomorrow is Yesterday”. “The Enterprise is mistaken for a large UFO by the US Air Force, and almost shot down by a fighter jet” (A TOS episode). I thought I heard my parents coming up the drive so I turned off my monitor and looked out; no one was there, just a car passing by. I sighed and sat on the loveseat and turned on the TV. Once the commercial ended, G4 put Star Trek back on. The episode? Tomorrow is Yesterday. Effin weird!!
Just got back from Las Cruces. We left around 3:35-3:40. Normally when I go to Cruces or El Paso, and I am not driving I will “Nap”, although I’m sure technically it is not a nap. I’m aware, at least audibly aware, my eyes are closed and I believe now that I enter more of a trance/meditation state instead of napping. Today was one of the more weirder ones. I am not sure if it was a data download or my own mental processes unlocking hidden memories. I enter this state, and instead of relaxing, something 'clicks' on, I see brightness in my closed eyes. Soon I begin seeing planets, planets turning into galaxies, like I am traveling past them. Then in a flash I see a grey in front of me (thank you for letting me see you finally, I think to myself). Back to more planets and galaxies. It is very awe inspiring. I see shapes and symbols, but I can’t remember what they were. They were very blurry. In another flash, I see a tuft of hair, I can’t make it out, so it is shown to me several times, each time I can see more of it….it’s a baby!! Its hair is actually kind of long for an infant, and very wild. It is considerably smaller than a normal infant, I wondered if
something was wrong with it. A grey puts it in my arms, and I hold it for a time, until flash again, and it’s a mushroom cloud? What? I then realign myself and wake up.
Diary Posts from 2-20-1998 to 3-20-1999
This is very short and to the point.
2-20-1998
Moving to New Mexico!!
2-24-1998
I’ve been too preoccupied to write, sorry. Oh, the computer jammed up Sunday, and I fixed it yesterday. I get to go online!
4-21-1998
EEK! I was trying to find something of mine and decided to check the middle bedroom. So I opened the door and “fwoom” there was a bright white light from inside. I didn’t take the time to look, I just shut the door. A couple of seconds later, I looked in and it was dark. I think I did the right thing, shutting the door. I don’t think they’re going to give up yet though. They know I have to go to sleep sometime. I wish I was awake though, so I could give them hell. If I had a choice I would definitely put up a fight! Well, I’m going to go, I’m very tired…
5-5-1998
I feel funny today. I don’t know what’s up, but I just feel weird, like when they are coming, or are near. I am also sick (cold).
5-16-1998
3-4 days left until I move, going to watch a ball game with the family.
9-12-1998
About 4-5 days ago I had a dream that there was a plane crash in water. There were no survivors. 2 Days ago there was a plane crash near Nova Scotia in the ocean and there were no survivors. Weird, huh?
9-15-1998
Well, I think they came for me again. I could feel their presence. Right now, I really don’t want to admit to it. I feel like an outsider, like I never fit in, and I feel like a loony. I don’t want to be a loony.
11-15-1998
Weird day! I was online speaking to my friend Rachel (my best friend in CA). She seemed a little disturbed, and I asked her if she was OK. She told me that she could feel them near, ironically enough so could I. She said they took her and took me as well. I was just kind of feeling a little skeptical but she’s my best friend…She then told me she had a dream in which we were both 10 yrs old, and I was trying to reach out to her but I couldn’t because they were in the way. She then started to cry….I don’t even know where to begin, but I believe it deep down. I’m tired. Off to bed I go.
11-6-1998
Ugh, my cold came back.
11-10-1998
I’m worried because I’ve been having headaches and dizziness. >_<
3-20-1999
Last night was freaky. I woke up between 1 and 3 am because I heard a *click* like my door was being shut. I was worried and confused. It may have to do with these people I see often. These people are in black robes, and they’re very scary. They hang around my bed a lot. It’s like, you wake up in the middle of the night, and they’re just there!
2-20-1998
Moving to New Mexico!!
2-24-1998
I’ve been too preoccupied to write, sorry. Oh, the computer jammed up Sunday, and I fixed it yesterday. I get to go online!
4-21-1998
EEK! I was trying to find something of mine and decided to check the middle bedroom. So I opened the door and “fwoom” there was a bright white light from inside. I didn’t take the time to look, I just shut the door. A couple of seconds later, I looked in and it was dark. I think I did the right thing, shutting the door. I don’t think they’re going to give up yet though. They know I have to go to sleep sometime. I wish I was awake though, so I could give them hell. If I had a choice I would definitely put up a fight! Well, I’m going to go, I’m very tired…
5-5-1998
I feel funny today. I don’t know what’s up, but I just feel weird, like when they are coming, or are near. I am also sick (cold).
5-16-1998
3-4 days left until I move, going to watch a ball game with the family.
9-12-1998
About 4-5 days ago I had a dream that there was a plane crash in water. There were no survivors. 2 Days ago there was a plane crash near Nova Scotia in the ocean and there were no survivors. Weird, huh?
9-15-1998
Well, I think they came for me again. I could feel their presence. Right now, I really don’t want to admit to it. I feel like an outsider, like I never fit in, and I feel like a loony. I don’t want to be a loony.
11-15-1998
Weird day! I was online speaking to my friend Rachel (my best friend in CA). She seemed a little disturbed, and I asked her if she was OK. She told me that she could feel them near, ironically enough so could I. She said they took her and took me as well. I was just kind of feeling a little skeptical but she’s my best friend…She then told me she had a dream in which we were both 10 yrs old, and I was trying to reach out to her but I couldn’t because they were in the way. She then started to cry….I don’t even know where to begin, but I believe it deep down. I’m tired. Off to bed I go.
11-6-1998
Ugh, my cold came back.
11-10-1998
I’m worried because I’ve been having headaches and dizziness. >_<
3-20-1999
Last night was freaky. I woke up between 1 and 3 am because I heard a *click* like my door was being shut. I was worried and confused. It may have to do with these people I see often. These people are in black robes, and they’re very scary. They hang around my bed a lot. It’s like, you wake up in the middle of the night, and they’re just there!
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